Ditch the resolutions and try Relationship Goals for 2018! Make it your year to figure out what you want, find new places to find it or recommit to the love you already have!
When you think about it, 2017 was an onslaught of emotional, psychological and theoretical adjustments, especially on a social level. Our world (literally and figuratively) continues to change at a rapid pace. Political, socioeconomic and cultural shifts implemented this year will have strong repercussions in 2018 and beyond.
Socially, this makes you all want to lock down your love lives! Find someone special to anchor and help you through the changes ahead. I'll be honest, as a single woman, I understand the desire. It can be a challenge to navigate and digest the ups and downs of life when you run the entire ship. There is no one to bounce ideas off of, let you know when you're taking on too much, or share the triumphs of a job well done. A partner mirrors our decisions, is a compass for direction and can be a comfort when the train goes off the rails.
On the flip side, the freedom of being the only person responsible for your ups and downs, keeping your own counsel and setting the course for the moment, hour or day is a privilege that can't be ignored, which leads to my point.
I know you're reading and hearing and "New Year Resolutions" everywhere, which is expected. But face it, by the time we hit our mid 20's the idea of making resolutions for the new year is a waste of time. Basically because they'll get broken within the first few days or weeks of the year. For the sake of intention, I think goals are a better bet!
If you're single, sit down and think about what you really want in a relationship. Create a goal to put yourself in environments and/or try new things that will put you in the vicinity of that type of person. Be careful though, this may mean moving past your comfort zone. List 3 places (other than a bar, gym or work) where you can do something new and meet someone with the qualities you're looking for.
If you're on the fence about a relationship you're already in, think about what value that person brings into your life, other than monetary (if that's even a factor). How does he or she make you feel? Do you learn, grow and experience life in a better way with this person, or do they bring you down? Give yourself the goal of serious thought about this topic. If they're right for you, you'll know it. Trust your instincts and figure out a way to work on the relationship to get it where you want it to be. If not, make a definitive decision to end the relationship. It doesn't matter if your grandma likes them, or your friends love them...if you don't, there's no point in being together.
Already dating or married? Think about making a commitment or a recommitment to your relationship. Been thinking about moving together, discuss taking the leap. Wanna give your marriage more time, your spouse more attention? Book a vacation for just the two of you and do something both fun and romantic.
As 2017 comes to a close, let 2018 be the new beginning that it is. Give yourself the goals of love rather than resolutions.
More than anything else, the holiday season is about love. Love for self, fellow man and life. Give, receive and enjoy!
The holidays bring togetherness and cheer, but also causes heartburn and anxiety! Over the years I've found a few things lovers tend to get wrong. Here are my top 3 holidays do's and don'ts to set you straight for the relationship side of the season.
If you're in a new relationship (and not quite ready to introduce your new love to family, friends or colleagues), do schedule special time with them. Plan dinner and exchange gifts (even if they don't celebrate any of the holidays). Show him or her the potential your love has and your commitment to grow the relationship. Give your time and attention during the busiest season of the year.
Don't force your holiday traditions, festivities or expectations onto yourself or your date. The holiday season is stressful as it is. Everyone celebrates the holidays in their own special way. More and more people leave the hustle and bustle aside for sandy island beaches to avoid holiday commitments. Rather than stress out, schedule one or two events you are required to attend, then leave your schedule open for relaxed play time. That way no one feels forced or excluded during the holidays.
Do keep the holiday attire to a minimum. "Ugly sweaters," Santa and reindeer hats are cute and show you have a fun side, but overall they're not sexy. Keep your style warm, relaxed and on trend with classic red sweaters for guys, and comfy accentuated dresses, skirts or slacks for the ladies. A festive scarf, broach or ear muffs show you're in the holiday spirit without looking like you escaped from the North Pole!
Don't overdue the gifts! Especially in a budding relationship. Show how much you care in every way during the holidays instead. Tell him or her how much you appreciate them in your life. Buy a gift that shows your commitment to learning more about them and plan something intimate like a couples massage. If you've been dating for a while, give a gift you can enjoy later, like a vacation that can create memories in the future.
Do be grateful for the love you have during the holidays. If you're having a tough time with your partner, rather than call it quits (due to pressure or stress), think about the point of the season. Good will, togetherness and compassion are major themes this tine of year. Give extra effort! Add some holiday spirit to the relationship with tried and true traditions like a kiss under the mistletoe, nog and cookies in front of the fire place, cuddle night on the couch or wishing upon a star!
Don't feel like a loser if you're single. Although you may see couples, love and family bonding everywhere, believe that one day you will have the same thing! Feeling down during the holidays will make life seem worse than it is. If you're reading this, chances are life isn't so bad, you have a working internet connection! Volunteer in your local community, help a neighbor or call a friend you know you won't see during the season. Find something, anything, that brings you joy and be happy to have it in your life.