Want to make time to date? Let go of control. prioritize, set the goal and the intent to be open and flexible.
How many times have you heard someone say they "don't have time to date"? How many times have you said it yourself? I've worked with dozens of clients as a Matchmaker and one of the main issues they have is time, Usually, it's not because they don't have time, because they certainly make time for other things like massages, long drives through the countryside or skiing in Vermont. They have the time, they just don't want to make the time, which is different.
To make time for something implies effort and let's face it, no one likes to put effort into something when there is no guarantee of a favorable outcome, right? Well, like any investment - no risk, no reward. Here's a few pointers on how to make time to date:
First of all, stop telling yourself and others you don't have time. You have time to binge watch Netflix or your favorite shows on Amazon Prime, right? Take those three hours a week and get to know someone new. You never know, that person may end up being the one who spends three hours on the couch binge watching with you!
Next, take time to prioritize dating. Make the decision to give it time and attention. How much of a priority do you want to make dating? It is a process, and a lifestyle, that includes time for more than just the date itself. You must consider wardrobe, venue, transportation and everything that goes into being present and at your best.
Third, set the intent. What is your intention to date and why? These questions can be tricky to answer because they can bring all the emotional reasons to date to the surface. Are you tired of being alone and want someone to spend time with? Would a potential relationship give your life meaning? Or, would dating breathe new life into a dying relationship?
After you consider your intent to date, set a goal. For example, start small and plan to go on two, maybe three dates a month. At least have a goal to meet new people outside of work or your familiar social circle. Make a plan to attend a few community gatherings or events a month where the potential to meet like-minded people is high. You may meet someone special, or at the very least, make new social contacts!
Finally, be open and flexible. When you meet someone who shows an interest, take a few minutes to learn about them and size up the potential for a first date. He or she may not check any or all of your 'boxes,' but aren't laundry lists and boxes outdated? To be open and flexible, means you are ready to put yourself out there and not control the outcome. You never know who you'll be attracted to or who will be attracted to you. It's ok to be 'picky,' especially if you've learned from choosing not too wisely in the past, but this time around, show maturity and the ability to go with the flow. The best experiences in life come when when we let go of control.